like OMG

i'm frickin' blogging, who'da thunk it?!
i want this site so bad, but i just don't want to work on it. i think it's the fact that i sit in front of a computer all day long at work. i want a new layout. i want content. but i don't want to sit here for 8 hours to do it all. anyway i don't have that much time. excuses, excuses. whatever. i figure if i just start blogging, i will regain the passion i once had when i had my other site. i have a mental list of things to accomplish but i just don't do them -- i've become lazy and i hate it. i'm not that way at work. i'm on top of things there. this is my challenge and my hope that i will regain the passion for the things that i used to love. it's just hard. i'm sad. this makes me sad. i'm going to beat it. i want to start writing again and doing art. maybe i will try to go morning pages, maybe evening pages... hmmm i need to make time to find me. this was supposed to be my journey, but now it's just my purgatory. i need goals again. i've achieved the ones that i had. i need new ones. i need to work on this site, i want to be proud again. this is going to help me be me. random babbling is now over. i'm such a dork. ok now it's really over. ;)